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by John Oliver - 998 tracks
Jigsaw
Play a game
Hello
Hello Michael
Jigsaw's puppet laugh
Game over
Let the game begin
Wake up call
Still alive
Well Hello!
How are you doing?
Might i have your first name?
Do you know who I am?
Col.Nathan R. Jessep (long)
My name is Warren R Schmidt
I Own the place
Everybody works for me!
When you hear what happed
I have some good news
I'm going to need you to listen
I'm going to need you to listen#2
I'm going to need you to listen#3
'm going to need you to listen#4
I'm going to need you to listen#5
Sarcasim is anger's ungly cosin
I'm a pretty good guy
Temper is the one thing
Short laugh
Watch your mouth!
Bye Now!
Yes!
No!
I Beg Your Pardon!
What!
Thats right!
Thank you!
Yes I Do!
This is ridiculous!
I Don't know!
O.K!
What the F@#k
No problem!
So be it!
Good!
You want answers!
You can't handle the truth!
Are we clear#1
Are we clear#2
Are these the questions i was called hear
You have to ask me nice#1
You have to ask me nice#2
Don't i feel like the f@#kin asshole!
What i do want!
I'll Answer the Question!
My answer is!
i'm a fair guy!
I want to know what were going to do about this?
extend me some f@#king courtesy!
You snotty little bastard!
I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 cubans!
Did you ever serve#1
Did you ever serve#2
Did you ever serve#3
Did you ever serve#4
Son we live in a world
Son we live in a world#2
Son we live in a world#3
Son we live in a world#4
You will address me as col. or sir
were not going to have problems are we?
Do you really want the love of your Life?
Do you got a girl friend?
well well well!!
Goosfrabba
Goosfrabba#2
Did you ever think about going back to school?
Are you a homofobe?
Not a problem
You got somthing you want to ask?
Tell us about your self#1
Tell us about your self#2
Tell us about your self#3
Tell us about your self#4
Do you know John lennon?
When I tell you to dump a body
When I tell you to dump a body#2
When I tell you to dump a body#3
Lets take a walk on the wild side
Crying for mother
Jibber Jabber
I'm wetting My Jockys
In europe
How do you feel?
What is your posion on breast implants?
ordering breakfast
I want to tell you somthing#3
i'm going to kill you
I'm going to rip the eyes out of your head!
What do you want to discuss now?
What kind of unit you running hear?
You f@#ked with the wrong marine
what's your name?
indian sounds
what's your name son?
fight a fuck too much
she was fifteen years old
she was fifteen years old#2
she was fifteen years old#3
she was fifteen years old#4
i'm a marval of modren science
i'm hear to corporate with you
R.P.McMurphy
were from the state mental institution
i'm Dr.McMurphy
the mental defected league
they were giving me 10 thousand wats a day
you sly son of a bitch
were nuts
captain block
captain block#2
I really don't know
i'll be right down the line with you
Giggling laughing
please proceed
No you don't understand
I'm a friend of your daughter's
Honestly
harry sandbourne how are you
harry sandbourne
I'm dating your daugheter
you were very impressive
How are ya?
It was sensational meeting you
I'm one of the owners of a record company
drive by recorders
It's a hip hop lable
let me see if i get were your headed here
women your age love that about me
you know what i mean
take it easy kids
we hav'nt have sex yet have we?
somthing to live for
Hey
what's up
Hey what's up
have you allways been like this?
I don't think I ever had this affect on a women
I don't reconize it
Sure
Can I ask you one other thing?
Just curous
Never
You never get hot
Oh i'm sorry
God am i sorry
Just your tits
I'm actually feeling quite perky today
Sorry for your trouble
Listen
Hey#2
yes or No what's the deal?
I saw her naked last night
Trust me
I never saw a women that age naked before
now she's a great chick
Must take after her father
I looked you up on the internet
Hey it's me
Just sitting arourd
Everybody is out but old harry
Old Old Old Harry
Goodnight
We are cute
My dear your confusing sex with sleeping
What are my choices?
Pancakes
Now what i know about you is wright
try not to rate my ansewer
Words have been invented for wome like you
Not at all
It's a pleasure
I can't remeber the last time i cried
I can't remeber the last time i cried#2
your the funnest girl i ever had sex with
well i'm a old dog
I'll like to try sleeping with you
you are a women to love
Thank you darling
What a doll
slow down you want to kill me
I have never lied to you
your killing me
I need to talk to you
Got a minute?
Show time
thats refreshing
So i'm nuts
sometimes worring about you
yes honey
Can i e-mail it to you?
Anyway
How is that?
I'm not ready to be your friend
why is it that you brods want all or nothing?
death doen't seem hard to you?
Theyre Here - Poltergiest
Jaws
More Attacks - Psycho
Its alive! - Frankenstien
Im the devil - The Exorcist
I have bad news - Hannibal
The Shining- Here's Johnny!
Ate his liver
Old friend for dinner
Did you breast feed her
Hear the screaming of the lambs
Amputate a man's leg
What became of your lamb
That's all I can remember
If you save Katherine
Thoughened your nipples
Look like a rube
Thank you Clarice
Best thing for him
Did you nurse Katherine
Good Evening Clarice
Toughened your nipples
Playing tag
I was way off!
I like it a...lot
Playing tag
Most annoying sound in the world
I like it a...lot
I wasn't paying attention
Loser
Senior citizens
I got robbed
What's the soup du jour?
Just go man!
Four inches
Look at the butt on that one
Aspen
Mingling with country folk
Fired again?
John Denver
Flying somewhere?
Somebody Stop Me!
Do NOT go in there!
Ass you a few questions
Buffed Beautiful & Bitchin'
Cops check his pants -The Mask
Dont have the power
Guy with rubber glove
Ice Ice Baby Parody
I likea do the cha cha
Back to you bleepers
In other news
As Andy Kaufman as Latka
As Andy Kaufman as Tony Clifton
Austria?
Don't go dying on me
We landed on the moon!
We've got no food
Alrighty then!
Number still 911?
Like a glove
Clean pair of shorts
Yummy
Come to me jungle friends
Ding, ding
Borg Introduction
You Are My Sunshine - 7 of 9
Enterprise Doors
Bigotry
Data's life forms song
Red Alert
Enter Access Code
Authorization denied
Auto destruct armed
1 minute to auto destruct
Intruder Alert !
Circus
Engage
Saving the future
Make it so
A good day to die
Not a Merry man
Priority 1 Broadband Distress Signal - Powerslave
Shields up, Red Alert, Fire Phasers - Powerslave
Smith, Agent Smith
Never send a human to do a machines job
Some believed we lacked the language
Human defines their reality through misery
A man who calls himself Morpheus
Human beings are a disease
I hate this place
I must get free
I must get out of here
This zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever
What good is a phone call
You're going to help us
You've been contacted by a certain individual
Last chance
Try to relax
Touch me
Why do my eyes hurt
I think we can handle one little girl
I give you the finger
Red or blue?
Buckle your seatbelt
Dream
The Matrix
They're watching you
That kick ass song - Propellerheads
I know Kung Fu
Gustapo Crap
Phonecall
Apologize
Hope we don't meet again
My question
Still dreaming
That's me
Trust you
Who are you?
Xpander
Dueling Banjos
Don't play games
Do the right thing
God, help us
Harder place to get in
Hillbillies
I don't believe in insurance
Part of it
Rifle cocking and firing
Squeal
This is a hell of a time
This is gonna be fun
This isn't one of your f_ _king games
We're lost
You better run
You don't beat this river
You have to lose yourself
You are my life now
Different
How old are you
Last time you'll ever see me
My job to protect you
This may hurt just a little
What the hell were you thinking
Told me nothing
What did you do to him
I'm the wold's most dangerous predator
I wanted to kill you
Have a long and happy life with me
Hold on tight spider monkey
How long I've waited for you
Human blood
I can read minds
I don't have the strength
I leave you alone for 2 minutes
Just stay very still
Personal brand of heroine
What do we eat
What if I'm the bad guy
You're very difficult to read
Ladies and gentlemen
South American drug lord
Description of Bedford
Diamond Dog
He's a fount of misplaced rage
I drove through 3 states
I'm DEA
3 white guys short
Lost his bladder in the airplane
Make a move
No one on this aircraft
No That's clever
Cyrus the Virus
You didn't really mean all that
AK-47 - Lord of War
Bored - Face Off
Hurts - Face Off
Didn't love you - Face Off
Bunny - Con Air
Trust - Con Air
Admiring - Con Air
Touch - City of Angels
Big knife - Moonstruck
Bad Man - Gone in Sixty Seconds
Thanks - Gone in Sixty Seconds
Next hundred years
What a predicament
Suck my tongue
A way to trap him
Boning your wife
Face cut off
Fresh tactics
Government job
Hate to see you go
Interception
Lot of changes
Peach
Plan B
What a predicament
250 Million
Dead
Big Deal
Foot Massage
The Shot
Say Good Night And Go Home
Gay Guy
Grease - Greased Lightning
Idea
The nukes
Ticking
Weapons
Scotland is free!
The trouble with Scotland
Are ya allright
Dressed up for nothing
Get me out of this mess
I didn't like him
I want to marry you
Learn
Love you my whole life
Now bleed with me!
Ready for a war!
Strength
Tell your king
They fought like Scotsmen
Your heart is free
Never see little Johnny again
I want it back
Kill Carter
70 Grand
Getting misty
$130,000
My money
Address
Aren't listening
Arthur Stegman
Call Bronson
Coming to get you
Deliver the money
Didn't make his delivery
Drive
Few months off
Got your crotch
Gunshot
Is that a yes
Know what I mean
Let you know
Looking for a girl
More receptive
Named Rosie
Need a favor
No
Nobody knows
Porter
Rosie
Safe work environment
Same as always
Take a guess
Trouble
What's the matter
Where he might be
Where is he
Worry about me
Wrong answer
Yeah good
You can't
You
Crazy
Enjoy it
Eat some fruit (Signs)
Awesome
I win
Every Sensation
Free Will
Fuckin' Chump
Got me
Too Cocky
Kidding
20th Century
My Time
Step it up
Behold
Door to door
FBI Agent
Relax
Rock n roll
Sorry Johnny
You bother me
Alright, how about a shave
They all deserve to die
I will have vengance
If you'll indulge me
Hole called London
You might find me
My arm is complete again
Welcome to the grave
Have mercy on me
Years changed me
Accept my challenge
Concocted from piss and ink
I had him
I might come home
Opened a bottle of elixir
No match
Come and visit
$50,000
100% pure Columbian cocaine
Do you want to do the honors
I brought you 75 instead
I figured it out
I'm stoned
We'd like to buy some pot
What do you know about cocaine
Oh bugger
Pleasure of your carbuncle
The rum
Singapore
Oi, fishface!
Yo ho!
Speaking cannibals' language
The Balck Pearl
Any idea
Bonnie lass
Captain for two years
Davy Jones
Dear old Jack
Dress
Guard the boat
I am truly unhappy
I'll handle this
Invitation
Jar of dirt
My compass
Not good
Pretty boat
Any more questions
Drawring of a key
Easy on the goods darling
HAH
Im Captain Jack Sabby
Madness or Brilliance
No
Set Heading
Sticks and Stones love
The day you Almost caught
Your not making any sense
Keep telling yourself that
Drug collection
Barstow
Decision to flee
Devil Ether
Drive at top speed
Finish the fucking story!
Golf shoes
Incredible
Like a bunny
More helpless and irresponsible
Screw that bear
Take a hit
Wait
What the hell...
Come to join me crew
Everything you said to me
No worries mates
Have you noticed
Is this a dream
Thief! Little hairy thief
Time's run out
Walk the plank
What did the bird say
Why is the rum always gone
You won't be able to resist
Wouldn't that be a sight (Troy)
Is there No one Else
"Hector the fool"
Kings to far Behind to see
Come to daddy (Mr Smith)
She tried to kill me
What's The Target?
Fight Club Invaded
Bitch Tits
Who Do You Think You Are?!?!
Talking On the Plane
Primary Charges
Big Rubbery One
Going to do one thing
Getting a whack
100 Nazi scalps
A Nazi ain't got no humanity
Business is a boomin
Cruel to the German
Eat a sauerkraut sandwich
Find the evidence
German will fear us
Go home
I need me 8 soldiers
Intimidation and terror
Oblige him
Something you can't take off
Sound good
We're all tickled
We're going to be dropped into France
Yes, yes, yes
A Name That Stuck
Eyes forward
Hitler flips out
Tell how many
That of a rat
The Basterds
Basement
One question
Sounds like shit
Styx
War
Trojan
Forgotten
Lions
Names
No one
Remember
Row
Sword
Who
Wolves
Ummmm, bitch
4 thumbs down
Black Gallagher
Playa Hater
Free crack?
The Time-Haters
I'm Rick James
Samuel L. Jackson Beer
Fat girls
Osama Bin Laden?
Lil' Jon - What!?
I'm rich bitch!
Tyrone - Is anthrax bad?
Half Baked - I love weed
Help!
Mama!
My father is a drug dealer
I don't do drugs
Smoke A Lot - Get away from me biatch
Lots of skeet
Affirmative
Bye nigga
Callin
Can't hear you
Popsicles
Skeet skeet skeet
Stranger
Im Rick James Bitch 3
Sex with Charlie
Charlie Murphy
Cocaine
Darkness 1
Darkness 2
Drink up
Hold my drink
Sorry Charlie
Tables turned
Laugh
Slap
Party tonight
White House
Good riddance
White hair
Vladimir Putin
Touch you
Tell your brother
Say it all the time
Rocket
Perfectly reasonable
Not once but twice
Evil doers
Everybody loves you
Drugs and alcohol
Don't touch it
Don't do it again
Do it well
Delay
Consequences
Come together
All bad
Brownie doing heck of the job
Fool me once
Help Me Pick My Lettuce
Nuclear Power Pants
TotaTotalatarians
Encourages Consumption
Whatever
Extremist Folks
MisUnderestimated
Not 1 doubt in my mind
If you dont stand for anything
Groundwork Framework
Pop into my Head
Restore Chaos
Secretarian Violence
Terriers and Bears
We have got to Arness
George W. Bush
Be on my team
Call Andy
Documents
Don't mess with Texas
Don't stay up too late
Humans and Fish
George W.
Very interesting question
Truth
That's a fact
That is your right
Thank you
Talked to my Dad
Oppose
Let me say something
Let me down again
In other words
Heat got on
I hope you pray
I'm clear
aint-shit
blam
complicated-shit
damn-fries
have-number
motherfuckers
The power of the dark side
I am your father
Chewbacca roar
Don't upset a wookie
900 years
Strong with the force
Afraid?
Darth Vader breathing
Lightsabers
Set for stun
I have you now
Don't fail me again
Treated unfairly
Don't get cocky
Welcome
Dr. Evil
Failure
Friggin Bone
People
Scrotum
Pre-emptive Shhh
www.Shhh.com.org
30 Fricken' Years
One simple request
Why Make Trillions
MiniMe
I'm with it, I'm hip.
One Million Dollars
Talk to the Hand
Evil Laugh
Riiiiiiiiigt
The Ref - Gus (Dennis Leary)
The Rock - John Patrick Mason
This Boy's Life - Dwight Hansen
I love gold
Isn't That Weird?
I Have a Dutch Accent
smoke pancake
Anything Stupid
Iron Dick
KC And The Sunshine Band
Austin Powers and Father
Dutch Hater
He is Small
It Is Time to Say Goodbye
Like a Macho Man
Smarty Pants
That Was Good
Tight Like a Tiger
Quit amphetamines
Quit drinkin
Quit smokin
Grown man naked
Sniffin glue
Turkish prison
Dick
God creates dinosaurs
That is one big pile
The pirates don't eat the tourists
T-Rex screams
You're implying
Horse Feathers - Wagstaff
The Blackadder - Baldrick
Casino - Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci)
Roxanne - C.D. Bales
Full Metal Jacket - Sgt. Hartman
Gooood
Force is strong
You will be destroyed
Powerful sith
The Palpatine song
Power of the dark side
Kill him now
So be it Jedi
I am the senate
Anakin
Are you threatening me
Become my
Can't hold it
Count Dooko
Cut off your arm
Discover the secret
Do it
Don't kill me
Fulfilling your destiny
I told you
I was right
If we work together
It's treason
Kill him
No time
No..no..no..
Only natural
Remember what you told me
Sandpeople
You did well
You will die
Young fool
Your mother
Vader Calls Palpatine - Parody
Point that thing
Good idea
Hear real good
Size of that thing
Foul Stench
I don't care
Pull out in time
Here it goes
Kickin' my ass
Below the belt
Bastard
Thanksgiving turkey
Yo Fletcher
No stems no seeds
Are you gonna get busted
Most acid
Born In East LA
We're smokin
Fifteen bucks
Anti-christ
Are we cross
Arrest us today
Defile myself
Don't shake hands
I suppose I'm deranged
I want your blood
Ignorant wretch
I'm your huckleberry
Isn't that a daisy
Smells like someone died
Thought you weren't my friend
You die first
You gonna do something
You're a daisey
Biscuits for sale
Stories your mama told me
Kill my mother
Two good whacks
Good Lord wouldn't send
Do over again
Chance to grow up
Bible says
Big uns
Bill Cox
Care about you
Do you understand
Don't mean I don't care
Four years
French fries taters
Fun sometime
Told me I'm well
Good to eat
How much you want
I'm your boy
Alright then
Jerry
Kill Jesse for
Killed my brother
Wanna be baptized
Learn to read some
Like taters
Like to eat
Make me biscuits
Mustards good on
Nervous hospital
No ma'am
Not done
Oldest boy
Read the bible
State hospital
Take notion
Yes ma'am
Poor black child
This color?
Wanna sing some blues?
See a doctor
How far you goin?
Beautiful little place
Damn these glasses!
I'll guess your weight
What a great place!
Cup O'Pizza
She looks just like you...
I don't need my dog
Big gun
Goodyear
Poopy Pants
Ankle Bracelet
Drugs
Cops & women
Nice Beaver
Magnificent office
Investigating
Missing evidence
No way
Nordburg
She's gone
Side of your mouth
Cows have come home
Dead or Alive
20 seconds
Ass is mine
Bad Motherfucker
Creep
Crime happening
Disappointed
Dollar
Don't like cops
Fix
I like it
Murphy
Trouble
You wanna live forever
You're fired
Are you not entertained
My name is Gladiator
Already dead
Am I not merciful?
Born
Change
Conquering hero
Has been slain
Dead men
Afraid
Bath
Maximus Desmus Meriduis
Die with honor
Don't die
Dying
Experience
After life
Man for the people
Brother
Dying of plague sire
Farmer
Frost
Go to them
He touched me
History
How long does it take?
I am a slave
Kill your name
Loyal subjects
Missed it
More powerful
Murdered son and wife
Not a moral man
Unleash hell
They will love him
Pleasant fiction
Queer giraffes
Required to kill
Salute you
You are giant
Strength and honor
Won't die
Time will come
Together
We are free
We have to fight
Smile at his own death
Who is he?
Win the crowd
Gen. Meridius
eternity
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